An open dialog of an aspiring senior friend with his novice junior

Usually, a father writes a letter to his son or daughter aspiring to enter the adult life. Here I am writing down a dialog of a father – aspiring to be a senior friend – with his son – a junior trying hard to establish himself. The occasion is a usual disillusionment at a certain milestone in the journey of the junior.

Junior friend: You know, it is so disgusting to find out that despite so much of hard work, I am not getting what is barely justified, hmmm???

Senior friend: Well, I have seen your hard work lately and you deserve much better deal based on that. It has been injustice to you. But what did you do in your college to make your profs understand your case?

Junior friend: Nothing, I hardly have any hope with my college or profs. No one seems to take me seriously.

Senior friend: Hey, is that their problem or your problem? I can understand if one or two have some prejudice against you. But if many are not willing to take you seriously, then I think you need to introspect what might have happened. Did you attend their classes regularly? Did you complete their assignments in time? Did you respect them in the class and outside?

Junior friend: I attended many lectures – though not all, but still they marked me absent more. As far as assignments are concerned, most of the students from my class submitted late, not only me. As far as showing respect, I do not want to show off and win their attention by trying to be a ‘good boy’, I am what I am. I didn’t hurt them at all.

Senior friend: I see. Did you meet your guardian prof and tell her your grouse? She is supposed to help and guide you.

Junior friend: When I told her, she just smiled and went off. What else could I have done? There is no help available, no guidance. It happens only with those who remain in the good book by acting too serious and behaving like school children.

Senior friend: Then did you meet your Head of Department?

Junior friend: No, she is a new one since the old HoD is transferred. Nobody knows her yet as she has joined barely a month back. What’s point in meeting her?

Senior friend: Even if she is new to you, she is not new to college and academics. She has responsibility of ensuring success of students in her department. At least you could have told her your problem so that she would have seen you and noticed your anxiety about injustice being delivered.

Junior friend: Friend, you are much senior to me and you yourself have gone through this course, though without any hurdles. Just tell me how would you have reacted to this situation if it had happened with you? Could you have kept the calm and accept it?

Senior friend: OK, now that you have asked me about my feelings, I will tell. First of all, I would have prevented reaching into such a pitiful situation by taking proper steps right in the beginning. I knew engineering was not a course with cake walk for me – for anyone. It had challenges, it had tough hard work and it had perils all over. I knew if I wanted to succeed, I had to be committed to this cause and remain extra cautious all the time. But still, if I would have met this situation, I would have definitely been shaken from roots, no hiding. It is not only the question of social stigma but the question of having trust in my own capabilities, my worth in life. But I would have definitely taken the remedial steps to come out the situation.

Junior friend: Like what?

Senior friend: I would have met each and every prof and made my case with them. I would have met HoD and pleaded with him. Why, even I would have met the principal of college and appealed to him, even if some of them would have ignored me. I would have requested him to provide me reference to meet the exam registrar of university. I would not have left any stone unturned to make my case heard.

Junior friend: But what is the point in so many actions if your enormous efforts have gone waste?

Senior friend: That’s called faith. I have faith in the course that I am doing. I have faith in the goodness of some of the people around. I have faith in purity of my goals and the pursuit taken to meet them. Finally, I have faith in the God that He is my propelling force and He would not let me collapse. This situation might be a hurdle in the race where He left my hand momentarily, but I have faith in Him that he has not left my hand forever. I still need to run the race, cross the hurdle and reach my goal – with in Him and thereby in myself.

Junior friend: That’s ok for you, but I can’t get this injustice out of my mind so easily. I am trapped in this situation.

Senior friend: Look, junior, I left patronizing you ever since you came out of your teen age. You are now an adult; a knowledgeable, modern adult. You want authority to take your own decisions, but you do not take responsibility of your own career. You want to hang out with young friends, but you do not have any plan to spend your entire day productively. You are eager to know more and more about the vast world through Internet and TV, but you do not possess power to eliminate chaff from wheat. You want more and more pocket money to spend with, but you do not plan to save for a rainy day. You dream big of illuminated goals, but you do not want to sacrifice your useless delights like laziness. Basically, you want to possess something that you like but you do not understand the costs that you have to pay. Coming to your trapping in this situation, let me assure you – no situation, good or bad, is permanent. Even if one doesn’t like, one has to move on with the ground reality. My word for you is to learn from this situation and move forward. Take your own decision after consulting right people, but understand the lifelong responsibility that you have to shoulder of your own life. Enjoy luxuries of modern life that are within your reach, but only after sweating out for your goals. Attain the maturity of being able to handle your own life and then have your own lifestyle. Dream big but keep winning small victories in routine life. You will sure lead to a great state in the life, whether as per your original plan or not, but for you yourself and for others it will look great. Just shrug off that frustration and laziness and start tireless walk.